2010年10月7日星期四

America reveals its sexual secrets

 

America reveals its sexual secrets

Repressed? Hardly. The most comprehensive survey of American sex lives in 20 years reveals what's really going on in bed
Couple in bed 
The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behaviour reveals a more adventurous streak to sexual activity than previous studies. Photograph: Edvard March/Corbis There are 130 pages of it, most densely packed with statistics and the remainder couched in the kind of language that only the most erudite and obsessive of researchers could find remotely arousing. But the most comprehensive national survey of Americans' sex lives for nearly two decades – arguably the most revealing since Dr Alfred Kinsey's two now-celebrated reports some 60-odd years ago – throws up some fairly intriguing findings. And, as always with this kind of behavioural thing, if it's happening in the US, it's more than likely happening here too.

More than we ever used to, for example, we fancy a bit of this and a bit of that (or at least, we're prepared to own up to it). Not that we indulge in all 41 possible combinations of sex acts enumerated by the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behaviour (NSSHB), published yesterday in a special issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, every time we have sex. But we do seem to be getting considerably more adventurous: of the five basic acts identified by the study (penile-vaginal intercourse or PVI, solo masturbation, mutual masturbation, oral sex and anal sex), more than 6% of men aged 25-29 claimed to have indulged in each and every one the last time they slept with someone.

Well that, you may object, doesn't prove much. There will always be a small proportion of sexual acrobats (or men who think they are). But how to account for the 16% of women aged 18-24 who reckoned they used four of the five techniques the last time they had sex, or the 8% of women aged 50-59 who said the same thing? "The findings demonstrate the enormous variability that occurs in the sexual repertoire," concludes Debby Herbenick of Indiana University's Centre for Sexual Health Promotion, a leading author of the study of 5,865 US residents aged between 14 and 94. So while "vaginal intercourse was still the most common sexual behaviour" among adult men and women, more of them than ever before reported experiencing what the researchers romantically refer to as "sexual events" that did not feature any actual intercourse at all.

Herbenick puts this down mainly to "evolving and varying definitions of what it means to have 'had sex'". In other words, behaviour that was once considered mere foreplay, a kind of precursor or accessory to the main event – the starter, if you like – is increasingly becoming the main course. (And it is worth pointing out that the statistics above refer only to the respondents' last sexual experience, not necessarily to what they get up to when they are really setting out to have a good time).

Half a century ago, the writer Somerset Maugham opined that there is "hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror". He may, finally, be right. The study doesn't delve much into the reasons why our sexual behaviour is evolving in this way. (Indeed, it may have ended up with some even more evolved behaviours – and probably a far larger number of sex act combinations – had it chosen to ask its respondents about their use of sex toys and pornography, which it didn't.) But nonetheless, the NSSHB pretty much puts paid to any lingering notions that repressed Anglo-Saxons are less adventurous in bed than, say, the Italians or French. The missionary position may not quite have died a death, but it's certainly no longer the beginning and end of what we now consider as sex.

Oral sex, for example, has become positively banal. Some 88% of men aged 30-39 have performed oral sex on a woman, 69% of them in the last year. Likewise, nearly 20% of boys aged 16-17. More than half of all women surveyed said they had received oral sex from a male partner in the previous year, while 12% of women aged 14-15, 23% aged 16-17 and well over half of those aged 18-49 said they had given a male partner oral sex.

Masturbation, likewise, is universal. Between 28% and 69% of men in each age group reported having masturbated alone during the past month; and solo masturbation emerged as the most common sex act among 14-24 year-old men and the over-50s. Among women, more than half aged 18-49 said they had masturbated alone in the previous 90 days, pretty much regardless of whether or not they were in a relationship. Nearly a quarter of all women said they had engaged in mutual masturbation with a male partner in the previous month.

Same-sex activity appears to be on the rise, or at least less taboo

 

More surprisingly, perhaps, the reported rate of anal sex has also increased dramatically, effectively doubling since the National Health and Social Life Survey was carried out by researchers from the University of Chicago in 1988. That study suggested around 12% of American women in the 25-29 age group had experienced anal sex in the last year; that figure has now risen to 21% (and also applies to the 30-39 age group). Some 20% of American 18- to 19-year-old girls have had anal sex at least once in their lifetimes, the new study shows, rising to more than 45% among 25-29 year olds.

Same-sex activity also appears to be on the rise, or at least less taboo (rather than through face-to-face interviews, the new survey was carried out online, a method believed to encourage more open and honest responses). While only about 7% of men and women identified themselves as "other than heterosexual", far more said they had engaged in some form of sexual activity with a member of the same sex. Nearly 15% of women in their 30s, for example, reported having performed oral sex on another woman at least once in their lifetime, while 13% of men over 40 said they had done the same to another man and 50% of men aged 50-59 said they had received it.

While we may be doing more stuff, though, we are not necessarily talking about it. According to Jocelyn Elders, the former US surgeon general, American society continues to view sex "primarily in negative terms"; she has used the report's evidence to argue for a more "open, frank conversation" in American society. "We have a sexually dysfunctional society because of our limited views of sexuality and our lack of knowledge and understanding concerning the complexities and joys of humanity," Elders writes in an introductory paper to the report. "We must revolutionise our conversation . . . to a discussion of pleasure."

Perhaps the most notable consequence of this expanded smorgasbord of sex does, though, appear to be that the whole business has become more pleasurable for women. While men were, on balance, more likely to reach orgasm during vaginal sex, women reported they were far more likely to if their partners adopted more than just one of the five basic techniques – and nearly 90% said they did so when they or their partner used all five. (More disturbingly, a startling number of women – almost a third – reported experiencing some form of genital pain during their most recent sexual encounter, against just 5% of men.)

Not that this more varied sexual diet and greater degree of female sexual satisfaction has done much to reduce the problem of what researchers call "the orgasm gap": in other words, the number of women who actually experience orgasm during sex, as opposed to the number of men who think they do. The NSSHB reports that 64% of women indicated they had reached orgasm in the course of their most recent "sexual event", whereas a fairly staggering 85% of men reported that their partner had done so during their most recent encounter. Some, of course, may have been having sex with other men, but that can hardly account for a 21% difference in perception.

 

Few young American teenagers seem to be having sex with anybody apart from themselves


There was more reassuring news, though, for those who fear that amid growing concern about teenage sexual development – much of it linked to mobile phone "sexting", social networking websites such as Facebook, and computer-based instant messaging services – very few young American teenagers seem to be having physical sex with anybody apart from themselves. Of the 14- to 16-year-old boys and girls surveyed, only around 10% said they were engaging in any kind of sexual activity with a partner – whereas 62% of boys, and 40% of girls, in the same age group were happy to admit to masturbating on their own during the last year.

The highest rate of condom use (the study was funded by the manufacturer of Trojan condoms) was also found to be among 14- to 17-year-olds. Nearly 80% of the boys and 69% of the girls surveyed said they used a condom the last time they had sex, against 25% for all the men in the study, leading the researchers to conclude that condom use had now become "the norm" among teens. Rates of condom use among black and Hispanic males were also considerably higher than among white men, perhaps showing that HIV-Aids awareness campaigns in these communities, where the disease is proportionately more prevalent, were making progress. "Our findings also show that condoms are used twice as often with casual sexual partners as with relationship partners, a trend that is consistent for both men and women across age groups that span 50 years," Herbenick said.

Cheering findings, too, for the over-60s: both men and women continue to be both active and adventurous in bed between the ages of 60 and 69, with 38% of men and 25% of women indicating they had been given oral sex by a partner of the opposite sex at some stage during the previous 12 months. Past 70, 19% or men and 8% of women reported they were still enjoying regular oral sex as part of their overall sexual activity. Somerset Maugham, one imagines, would be thrilled.


    文章轉貼自:http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/05/sex-us-american-attitudes-survey


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    2010年10月4日星期一

    七折預訂《宗教右派》!!




    dirty press X 香港基督徒學會 聯合出版
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    游靜 香港嶺南大學文化研究系副教授

    本書展現香港知識份子並未止於簡化式的批判和譴責,作者們很嚴肅地、慎重地針對被稱為「香港宗教右派」的興起進行了深刻的分析,對香港本地特有的政經結構溯源,對宗教右派在殖民體系與西方信仰中逐步茁壯的前世,與佔盡階級優勢且充斥政治慾望的今生,都提出了詳盡的歷史社會政治分析,不但揭露其呼應全球保守勢力的擴張野心,也指出某些香港宗教群體與本地先後建制勾結合謀的悠長歷史。
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    2010年9月29日星期三

    [心底的秘密]異性戀全面睇之周街問人有冇人獸交

    .



    以上的問題都是同性戀受訪問時收集回來的,現在返過來以同樣的問題問異性戀者,可以看到問題的無稽嗎?

    好多人以為自己沒歧視同志,但他們的問題裡面可以見到佢地根本對同志"另眼相看",問以上的問題的包括自稱親同志的雜誌、寫報告做研究的學生等等。

    如果你是真真正正的不歧視同志,你不會問異性戀者的問題,也不會用來問同志。

    監製:Vice
    導演:Vice、毛
    撰稿:Vice、毛、Zacky、Doo、小明、米、Mandy
    攝影:毛、Zacky、Doo、米、小明、Joey
    剪接:Vice、米、Joey
    主持:Zoe、詠筆、Genie
    字幕:Mandy、Vice


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    2010年9月21日星期二

    轉貼:愛自己 留精不留人

    .
    我不婚,獨自生產,即使陣痛痛得我想把病床鐵欄杆折斷,但我沒喊過半聲,決定生下孩子的人是我,我就是得撐過去。

    我 不是一開始就打算當不婚媽媽的,應該說我一開始只打算不婚,但也並非意外懷孕。決定當媽媽是在遇上孩子的爸以後才有的念頭,當時情正濃,孩子的爸大我5 歲,某回看到新聞裡提到了高齡不孕的問題,年滿34歲的女性即為高齡產婦,即將升為高齡的我突然有種「現在不生,以後就不會再有機會了」的危機感。我很認 真的算過排卵期,跟孩子的爸討論後才懷孕。但懷孕的過程是一連串考驗,孩子的爸沒有通過測試,最後我獨自面對一切。而我有經濟基礎,有謀生能力,沒嫁人絕不代表我當不了媽媽!

     

    萎縮胚胎起死回生

    懷孕初期非常不樂觀,半夜突然大出血,頂著寒風我獨自騎車到醫院,急診室的護士問我怎麼了?我試圖鎮定的告訴她:「我快流產了!」接著被送去安胎,前後好幾個醫生都說保不住,不死心的再找其他醫生診斷,胚胎不但沒有心跳,甚至凹陷有了萎縮跡象,醫生殘忍的給了流產日子。
    心情極度低落,做了件反常的事。完全不碰咖啡的我,那幾天沒來由的好想喝咖啡,只有手裡捧著溫暖的咖啡時,心情才好過一些,不知道寶寶是不是被咖啡因給刺激到了,跟著有了心跳?但醫生說有心跳就不怕了,胚胎凹陷的部分會慢慢自己修補起來。生命是不是很神奇呢?只要抓住機會存活下來,很多不完美都是可以慢慢修補過來的。

     

    孩子的爸提出結婚

    為了當單親媽媽,我得加倍努力賺錢,但連待產包都還來不及準備,在預產期前一個月的夜裡,我破水了,又獨自騎車去醫院待產,依舊強作鎮定的告訴護士:「我破水了!」
    感 謝台灣的低生育率,加上我不是一窩蜂的迷信大醫院。醫院冷清的待產室裡就我一個人,孤單的我無須面對他人異樣眼光,我佯裝冷靜的等著陣痛,坐在電視前按著 遙控器,只有那不斷變換頻道的螢幕透露出我的不安。最後孩子來了!在最疼的時候我無聲的掉了眼淚,即使痛得想把病床鐵欄杆折斷,但我沒喊過半聲,我告訴自 己,決定生下孩子的人是我,我得撐過去。
    孩子出生後,孩子的爸出現了,他認為這當中他幾度的失聯,只是情人間的小冷戰,孩子都有了,我一定會接納 他,他一直有結婚的意願,但我卻沒有冒險的興趣,陪我去報戶口時他說那就順便辦結婚好了,我斷然拒絕。每次我需要幫助時他總不在我身邊,溫柔體貼只在他心 血來潮,平常一不如意就走人,我怎能因為有了孩子就勉強跟這樣的人結婚?

     

    女人不只有二選一

    再 說在這段期間,我也更確定我有單獨養育孩子的能力及勇氣,孩子雖然沒有給我帶來美滿幸福的婚姻,卻給了我一個可以毫不保留去愛的機會,這一開始在眾家名醫 眼裡都不被看好的小胚胎,生下來後不只是健康可愛而已,更令人驚嘆的是女兒跟我長得一模一樣。每次見著她總像在看著自己,我給她的愛絕對不少於有雙親的家 庭,而她給我的快樂也遠多過悲傷。

    面對鄰人親友時,我大方公開我是不婚媽媽,當然也曾面對三姑六婆的冷言冷語,但我從來都不是好欺負的角色,也絕 對有解釋自己的能耐,如果這樣就退縮,我怎麼教我的孩子用正確的心態去面對這世界?哪個女人不希望自己可以擁有正常的家庭和婚姻,但我就是沒那麼幸運可以 找到對的男人,難道我要因此就放棄當媽媽的權利嗎?還是我生了孩子後要委曲求全,嫁給不愛我的人,才算是顧全大局,為兒女著想?不,這年頭的女人不只有這 兩項選擇而已,我選擇勇敢的當不婚媽媽。
    Alley╱宜蘭(自由業) 


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    2010年9月17日星期五

    轉貼:處女信仰為何復活


    處女信仰為何復活

    2010年09月16日蘋果日報
    日本是儒家文化圈裡最拋棄處女信仰的國度,男女大都認為「處女超遜的」,女人都拚命想要拋棄處女,男人也怕遇到處女,責任重大且做愛無趣,但最近幾位玉女藝人告白戀愛經驗,像是人氣配音平野綾表示情人大自己10歲、也曾遭劈腿,未料遭粉絲批判,哀叫說:「原來妳不是處女!」「我們都遭背叛了!」

    不僅22歲的平野,幾位19歲女星告白戀愛經驗也遭攻擊,這些宅男認為他們所愛的AKB48的偶像100%是處女無誤,但實在太荒謬了,21世紀還一廂情願認為偶像必然是處女,無限時代倒錯之感,他們還認定偶像必須是男人理想典型的處女才行,玉女偶像讓他們繼續夢想是處女,也是她們的任務,居然告白跟年上男等戀愛,不可原諒! 


    宅男愛「初次限定」

    宅男變成有處女信仰,大抵因為他們是童貞或二次童貞,從未或很久沒跟女人交往,多少有自卑感,很怕非處女經驗豐富,會遭嘲笑,而且宅男長年搶購軟體等,特愛「初次限定」,對女人也要求「初次限定」,相信會是「特別式樣」,彷彿為自己量身訂做,若是非處女,會被跟前男友比較,說來說去就是對女人沒信心。
    只能愛處女的男人不了解女人,以為處女必然清純,對他們會有耐心,事實上正好相反,經驗豐富的女人才會對童貞男循循善誘的、不屑欺騙他們。
    這些男人迷偶像或動畫偶像,不交女友,童貞度越來越高,妄想無法煞車,處女信仰不斷加強,甚至認為「未婚女不是處女,那不過是被男人嘗過甩掉的蠢女人」,最糟的是許多登高喊愛處女的男人,自己並非真童貞,卻只愛處女,難以理解,怪不得沒女人想理會他們! 


    文章轉貼自:http://tw.nextmedia.com/subapple/article/art_id/32815246/IssueID/20100916



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    2010年9月16日星期四

    「理.論」親密關係微型課程



    dirty press「情色學堂」頭炮即將登場,
    在10月中會聯同女同學社推出由
    小曹主理的「理.論」親密關係微型課程
    詳情將於日內公布, 


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    書籍銷售資訊

    書籍銷售資訊 【總代理】 ➡ ️   台灣: 唐山 / 正港 https://www.facebook.com/TonsanBookstore 【伙伴書店】 ➡ ️   香港 序言: http://www.hkreaders.com ...